Is that my Mom? or your Grandma?

Day 55 of 2013 ... Feb, 24th...Sunday

I received an email notice yesterday afternoon that Bethy posted some new pictures to facebook so I clicked on the link and a picture opened,  I saw this little boy who looked like Bethy's little boy Jaxon being hugged by this familiar looking white haired old woman.  So I clicked on another link and another picture opened and there was no mistaking what I saw in this picture,  Bethy and Her Kids with MY MOM.....  OK, OK, I know my Mom is Bethy's Grandma but I had questions, I was totally confused, my head was spinning.  Where was this taken?  WHEN was this taken?  How did Bethy get to the other side of Ohio without telling me she was taking a road trip?  Why didn't She ask me to go?  What is going on?

I had to call Bethy.  So Bethy had found out that Her cousin, my niece, was having Her baby shower the next day.  We live several hours out of town so we are not privy to all the family information and didn't know Nicki baby shower was the following day.  Bethy decided to attend so She got up the next morning, packed up the kids for the day and off they went on their excursion, they headed east where the party is.   Without telling ME! .... Or informing any family members back home to be expecting Her.  She was the icing on the cake.  What a surprise.  My Mom. Bethy's Grandma, was hugging these little darlings and not putting it together yet.  She knew they were Bethy's kids but she hadn't got to the .... "How did you get here"? .... part yet.  Then she looked up and right into those big bright glistening eyes of Bethy.  Again ... What a surprise!

Well I was told by Bethy that Ireland stayed with Great Grandma the whole time they were there, right by Her side, even sitting beside Her at the "Old Ladies Table".  Bethy said that table was ... Grandma, Ireland, Old Lady, Old Lady, Old Lady and on the other side Old Lady, Old lady, Old lady.  I guess Ireland talked and talked.  She had a captive audience.  Those Ladies learned all about Ireland, the little girl not the Country.   Her favorite color ... unless it's changed, is purple.  I'm sure She shared the names of Her siblings,  Lilly and Jaxon (JJ).   I don't know what else she would share with strangers but she does jabber on when she gets started.

I called my Mom to get Her side of this and She told Ireland kept that table very entertained.  One of those Old Ladies gave Ireland $2.00 ... Bethy, your Grandma zippered the money up in a pocket on whatever Ireland was wearing ...

Now you know I have to include pictures or I won't feel like my blog is complete especially when the idea for this blog started because of pictures I was emailed.

  My Mom thinks Bethy's children are the most loving, best behaved children ever and that Bethy is looking fit and good not sick.  Yay!     I agree.


Talk to you later
 - Marcene









   

And now look what happened

Day 54 of 2013 ... Feb, 23rd...Saturday

I've been thinking about my girls.  I have 3.  All are grown now with children of their own, it's nice that they share them with me.  I like it.  The extra hugs and kisses ... now who couldn't benefit from the love of little ones.   I remember when I found out I was pregnant with my 1st child.  I was scared ... oh so scared.  I was unmarried and although I lived on my own and supported myself, family strings were still attached and the strong arm holding the strings was a prideful man who would not approve of the goings on that caused this pregnancy.  I got over the fear of Dad eventually and continued with my life.  As the baby grew I started to get some questions from co-workers and friends about names and if I wanted a boy or a girl.  I had not even thought of that question.  I was having a little girl and I wanted to call Her Missy but I knew on Her birth certificate I would put Melissa.  I tell myself, even now. that if I had given birth to a little boy I would have accepted Him once I saw Him and they put Him in my arms.  But oh how I wanted a little girl.  I wanted to  be a  mommy for such a long time and this was my time coming up.  I wanted to do a good job.  I wanted to have a happy baby and I wanted Her to love me.  She was a wonderful baby, a beautiful baby, She was very good and pretty easy to care for, smart but very small.  Missy was born early but recovered from that  quickly.  She won over the patriarch of the family and He tried to keep Her ... that's another story.

My 2nd pregnancy was after I married.  I didn't know I was pregnant, I thought I was sick.  I didn't get sick with my 1st pregnancy.   Cecil and I had been trying to get pregnant and we were starting to worry but try and try again ... we did get pregnant ... LOL  I got huge.  Quickly!  By the time I was 3 months along I was unable to button my clothes.  WHAT??  This isn't right.  By the time I was 5 months along I looked like I was big enough to deliver so the doctor put me on a diet, which I didn't like ... at all.  My due date was September 3rd.  On Sept 4th I went to see the doctor and told Him I will not carry this baby this way any longer.  He gave me an examination and told me to go the hospital He would meet me there and induce labor.  WHEW.  We lived in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma at the time and it is very early September and I am huge.  I could not have stood it another day.  The heat, the sun, the not being able to move it was just to much.  I WANTED TO HOLD MY BABY IN MY ARMS ... then put my baby in bed and be able to roll over. So I went to the hospital, the doctor got there, induced my labor then He went away not telling me to cool my jets.  I thought it was baby time.   TA-DA   Sara was born about 3 hours later and she had the biggest cheeks I had even seen outside of someone blowing a trumpet.    I was in love!!  Then she stretched out Her hand and touched me and I knew she would have a special place in my heart.

My 3rd pregnancy I had to beg and plead for.  Cecil thought 2 children was good ... I guess because He came from a family with only 2 children and His father came from a family with only 2 children.  But I wanted to have a say so.  I wanted another child.  We have 2 daughters, maybe this time we would have a son.  We learned alot about my pregnancies with the earlier 2 pregnancies and labor.  1 thing I learned is that I know when I'm pregnant.  Although I couldn't get a doctor to see me until I actually missed ...... you know what goes here ......  I was counting the days.  There it was or wasn't.  I made my doctor appointment and got confirmation.  A big woohoo for me ... and Cecil ... we are having 1 more baby.  Alot happened in the months to follow that had nothing to do with my pregnancy but the stress could have affected the baby, but I don't think it did.   I'm sorry to say I don't exactly remember the due date it was January 6th, 7th or 8th.  On January 6th I called Joe and Karen,  friends of ours, because something wasn't right ... I was bleeding when I peed.  I called them because they were going to care for Missy and Sara while I was in the hospital delivering this one.  I had called Cecil and He was on His way home from His other job, His 2nd job,    Now another thing we learned about my pregnancies and labor is that when I'm in early labor I don't feel the labor pain so I don't know I'm in labor.    OK now we are at the hospital, I am in the exam room and Cecil is refusing to let the doctor leave because I may give birth when they step out.  So they checked on me often.  I did give birth less then an hour and a half later.   I gave birth to a daughter.  I did have 2 names picked out.  1 boy, Matthew, and 1 girl, Elizabeth.  We now have a Beth.  I will admit I shed a tear when they said "it's a girl" but once I held her in my arms, once I touched Her little fingers and felt the pressure of Her fingers touching me back, I knew she would be my baby forever and I was glad she was a girl.

I've learned through the years that Missy is very accepting. She is so loving and has such a caring heart that, as you are that is as She'll take you.
I've learned through the years that Sara sees the world differently.  She doesn't like stress and disorder.  She loves smiles and She will make you laugh to see one.
I've learned through the years that Bethy wants it Her way ...  but don't we all.  Bethy is loving and I will always remember that little shadow of mine that would let me hold Her every once in awhile, she would lay Her cheek on my cheek and I could feel butterfly kisses with every blink of Her eye. 

Look at my girls now ... all grown up ... They are wonderful ... they will still hold my hand

 This is what we have become  .... including their Husbands and our 8 grandchildren

 I know today's blog is kind of long but I got involved and caught up in the moment or hour ...

thank you sticking with it
 - Marcene

so this old man and this old woman were sitting on a bench

Day 52 of 2013 ... Feb, 21st... Thursday

I'm blogging early today ... 1 reason is because it's Thursday and if I don't blog early I won't blog until real late because the Ministry School meeting is on Thursday evening and I would blog after we get home.  The 2nd reason I am blogging early is because I didn't blog last night.  So on with today's blog.

I saw a picture posted on facebook of an old man sitting at one end of a bench and sitting on the other end was an old woman.  The old man has a scowl look on His face, it's raining.  He has an umbrella but He is holding the umbrella out away from Himself to the other side of the bench over the little old women sitting there.  This means that scowling old man is sitting there in the rain and getting wet.  This picture has a caption or title "LOVE IS CARING FOR EACH OTHER EVEN WHEN YOUR ANGRY"

When I saw this picture I downloaded it immediately and it became my new computer screen background  wallpaper.  That little old man holding an umbrella away from Himself even though you could tell from the expression on His face He was angry at Her and the fact that these 2 people were not sitting side by side but still ... unselfishly ... loving Her ... caring about Her ... he sat in the rain.  That made me think of Cecil, of course, and any reader of my blog that knows Cecil will agree, our children will agree also,  no matter how angry at me He may be at the time even if I stubbornly refused to move closer to Him to share the umbrella so both of us would have shelter from the rain.  He would hold that umbrella out away from himself over my head.  

When I showed Cecil my new background wallpaper He smiled ... He knows He would sit in the rain for me.    OK ... I know who I am.  I have flaws, we all have faults and flaws, things we would like to change.  Realizing these faults, knowing your own flaws, that's one thing but saying them out loud is something very different.  Hearing them ... and you recognize that voice .... it's your own voice. 

I was raised in a household with 2 parents, lots of siblings, from time to time a grandparent or two and even some foster children.  Pride was on the highest rung of the "SUCCESS" ladder.  You needed no extra schooling to climb this ladder but you have to step on many fingers.  You did have to develop a tough outer skin, hold your feeling within and no tears ....on the outside   So when I was talking about this old man to my ever-lov'n-man about how He was Him and I knew even if He was angry because of one of my many many many flaws and faults, He, because He loves me, would see to my well being ... always ... and I was confident of this.

I made my mistake when I made it real.   When I made this personal.  When I opened my mouth and compared us.  I fight to let go of that high rung step with almost every decision I make.    If I were sitting with the umbrella and it started to rain ...  how wet would we both have to be before I would open the umbrella?  How long would I make Him wait before I offer some relief from the rain to Him?   I just leaned my head on His back and cried silently for a minute but He knew and He turned and held me ... but His hands were wet because He was rinsing and cutting vegetables for me before He went to work.  That made me laugh.  He's good!   

 

What internal battles do our girls fight because of the way they were raised?  Are they who they want to be?  I'm not.  I want to be pleasant.  I want to be someone you want to call friend.  I want to like who I am.   Someday ... I have hope that someday I will.  Someday I'll stop crying or allow myself to start.

Later you blog readers - you
Have a good day
 - Marcene