Hello all, it's Beth again. The procedure went good. It was a little more painful then they told me it would be but I am feeling better right now. They got all the cancer off the cervix and they don't feel like the syste on my overies will be cancerous. I thought the untersound would be today but it turns out it was just a phyical check today. They do still have to look into it, but they seem very sertain that it is not cancerous. So i am feeling better about that. The servical scarp went as well as it could go. She said she had to go a little deeper and cut into a few places but for the most part it was all on the serface. I am in a little bit of pain, and i'm not sure what tomarrow will feel like, but knowing that the cancer is out of my body feels wonderful. I am very tired so i won't be blogging alot tonight but i just had to tell everyone that i am doing good. I wanted to thank everyone for there sweet wished and wonderful prayers to help me and my family tho this. My heart go out to families that don't have it as easy as we did. Cancer is a horriable thing that doesn't care about who you are, or what your plans on for the next couple years. We can't control it sometimes and sometimes even with the best efforts we don't win the fight. My family and I were very blessed and fortionate to have a possitave outcome but i ask that you please keep staying involved in a fight for the cure and continue to pray for famils and loved ones that are still fighting the fight.
Thank you to everyone for helping me through this. I don't know what i would have done without my family and my friends, and there family and friends, and even there family and friends. LoL it's amazing how such a horriable thing can bring so much love or unity. Just because the cancer in gone from me, don't let that love and support and unity go away. Please, keep wearing the ribbins, wearing the shirts, and supporting all our amazing fighters out there.
Monday, March 4, 2013
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Beth's blogging again
Hello my mommy's wonderful readers. It's me again, Beth. I am blogging again tonight so my mommy can take the night off. I figure it's the least i can do in return for all the things she will be helping me with the next few days. My procedure is tomorrow and from the things i have read and the warnings my doctors have given me, odds are i will be ok after the procedure but the next day i MIGHT be in a little discomfort, so my mom will be coming over to help me with the kids because Jim has to work. Also, just for moral support.
I feel i am ready for my mom to come over. You know that panic you get the day before someone super important comes over. The panic of oh my goodness, this needs to be done and why didn't I think of doing this and this yesterday. So you do this whole list of things in one day. This list of things that you NEVER think of doing until the day before someone important comes over. Well THAT list didn't get done all the way, lol but i did get alot of things done. The girls room is super cleaned, JJ's room is super clean. Oh and by the way, JJ has enough dress cloths (because he wears them all the time) to fill 2 closets. Oh man, let me tell you all about the way JJ dresses. It's so funny. You know how little girls love to dress up in princess and fancy dresses. Well JJ loves to, not dress up, because this is everyday wear for him, but he loves to wear his dress cloths all the time. Like i said, it's normal everyday wear for him. He will wear dress slacks, a button up shirt, a vest, a jacket and..... if he's feeling like he wants to actually dress up, he puts on a tie. If he puts that tie on, you know he is dressing to impress!! LoL he will wear this all day. If he has to go play sports i have to MAKE him change and reassure him he can change back once we get home. From time to time, he will wear his jeans, but then just randomly at some point in the day i will realize he has changed his jeans to dress pants. LoL i'm telling you, the boy was born to be a model. From the way he dresses to the way he walks with one hand in his pocket and just the right amount of swagger, the boy was born to model!!
The girls just change cloths 3 times a day. Well not so much Lilly, as Ireland. Lilly, for some odd reason, things she has to wear 3 shirts at a time. Still haven't figured that one out. Ireland will wear 3 different outfits through out the day. I do ALOT of laundry! LoL
We had a little freak out today. Jaxon (JJ) was putting his cloths down the laundry shoot in the bathroom, and he slipped and fell off the toilet and busted his chin. At first I was worried he would need a get a stitch or two, but Jim didn't think so. He was feeling better a few moments after it happened, he is so tough! I was actually a little proud of myself for not freaking out. I was calm and kept a low tone as i yelled for Jim to get in the bathroom. I thought i did good.
I don't really have a whole lot more to blog about. Jim kinda made me mad so i'm not in the mood to talk. I don't understand why sometimes guys are just so...... annoying. LoL maybe that's not the right word for it. Don't get me wrong, i love my husband so much. I'm always glad that i married him and i know he is such an amazing man. Sometimes though, OH my goodness, i'm telling you, he just says the wrong thing. I'm sure this is something that happens in all marriages, infact, i know it is! his just happens at all the worst times. Well, saying that now, i guess it couldn't really ever happen at a GOOD time. I don't know. I just wish men would understand how we need them to say things the right way sometimes, or how we need them to know how we are feeling without us having to tell them. Like i don't want to have to tell my husband that i'm scared or sad or stressed out, i just need him to know this and treat me as sweetly as possible because, honestly, if he doesn't, i'm going to end up getting mad over the tiniest thing, like accusing me of eating your stupid cheesecake when i didn't touch it, just like you said!!!! seriously, IT"S CHEESECAKE!!!! get over it!!! AGH! ok ok, i'm done. See tiny little thing, not worth getting upset about... but i did. Agh, it's so stupid. OK anyway. I wonder if it ever actually will happen. I wonder if my husband will ever realize i am in a sad mode, or a stressed mode and just take the initiative to help me in some way. Does that ever really happen? it happens in all those ABC and Hallmark movies!!! why can't it happen in real life. Those are real life right? LoL i know, i know, yeah those are real life and i look like a victoria secret model. ok so i know it probably won't happen, but hey, it's nice to dream. Infact, i think i am going to go dream of that now. I'm so tired from cleaning all day, PSH, i am worn out. I hope i can sleep tonight, i'm still a little nervous about tomorrow. I know it will all be ok though.
Well until next time. Good night to all my momma's readers. Love ya'lls
I feel i am ready for my mom to come over. You know that panic you get the day before someone super important comes over. The panic of oh my goodness, this needs to be done and why didn't I think of doing this and this yesterday. So you do this whole list of things in one day. This list of things that you NEVER think of doing until the day before someone important comes over. Well THAT list didn't get done all the way, lol but i did get alot of things done. The girls room is super cleaned, JJ's room is super clean. Oh and by the way, JJ has enough dress cloths (because he wears them all the time) to fill 2 closets. Oh man, let me tell you all about the way JJ dresses. It's so funny. You know how little girls love to dress up in princess and fancy dresses. Well JJ loves to, not dress up, because this is everyday wear for him, but he loves to wear his dress cloths all the time. Like i said, it's normal everyday wear for him. He will wear dress slacks, a button up shirt, a vest, a jacket and..... if he's feeling like he wants to actually dress up, he puts on a tie. If he puts that tie on, you know he is dressing to impress!! LoL he will wear this all day. If he has to go play sports i have to MAKE him change and reassure him he can change back once we get home. From time to time, he will wear his jeans, but then just randomly at some point in the day i will realize he has changed his jeans to dress pants. LoL i'm telling you, the boy was born to be a model. From the way he dresses to the way he walks with one hand in his pocket and just the right amount of swagger, the boy was born to model!!
The girls just change cloths 3 times a day. Well not so much Lilly, as Ireland. Lilly, for some odd reason, things she has to wear 3 shirts at a time. Still haven't figured that one out. Ireland will wear 3 different outfits through out the day. I do ALOT of laundry! LoL
We had a little freak out today. Jaxon (JJ) was putting his cloths down the laundry shoot in the bathroom, and he slipped and fell off the toilet and busted his chin. At first I was worried he would need a get a stitch or two, but Jim didn't think so. He was feeling better a few moments after it happened, he is so tough! I was actually a little proud of myself for not freaking out. I was calm and kept a low tone as i yelled for Jim to get in the bathroom. I thought i did good.
I don't really have a whole lot more to blog about. Jim kinda made me mad so i'm not in the mood to talk. I don't understand why sometimes guys are just so...... annoying. LoL maybe that's not the right word for it. Don't get me wrong, i love my husband so much. I'm always glad that i married him and i know he is such an amazing man. Sometimes though, OH my goodness, i'm telling you, he just says the wrong thing. I'm sure this is something that happens in all marriages, infact, i know it is! his just happens at all the worst times. Well, saying that now, i guess it couldn't really ever happen at a GOOD time. I don't know. I just wish men would understand how we need them to say things the right way sometimes, or how we need them to know how we are feeling without us having to tell them. Like i don't want to have to tell my husband that i'm scared or sad or stressed out, i just need him to know this and treat me as sweetly as possible because, honestly, if he doesn't, i'm going to end up getting mad over the tiniest thing, like accusing me of eating your stupid cheesecake when i didn't touch it, just like you said!!!! seriously, IT"S CHEESECAKE!!!! get over it!!! AGH! ok ok, i'm done. See tiny little thing, not worth getting upset about... but i did. Agh, it's so stupid. OK anyway. I wonder if it ever actually will happen. I wonder if my husband will ever realize i am in a sad mode, or a stressed mode and just take the initiative to help me in some way. Does that ever really happen? it happens in all those ABC and Hallmark movies!!! why can't it happen in real life. Those are real life right? LoL i know, i know, yeah those are real life and i look like a victoria secret model. ok so i know it probably won't happen, but hey, it's nice to dream. Infact, i think i am going to go dream of that now. I'm so tired from cleaning all day, PSH, i am worn out. I hope i can sleep tonight, i'm still a little nervous about tomorrow. I know it will all be ok though.
Well until next time. Good night to all my momma's readers. Love ya'lls
Saturday, March 2, 2013
What to do with a Saturday ...
Day 61 of 2013 ... March 2nd ... Saturday
I found a couple of useful websites and a couple of interesting posts today while poking around on facebook. I'm going to share them with you and post them here, on my blog.
~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~~~
Top 10 Foods For Detoxing Some of these foods I knew about the benefits and some I was very surprised at just how much benefit you get.
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~~ ~
This is not a website but it could save a life ** I have not tried this personally but this is what I read on a facebook posting and I thought it is worth keeping and passing on.
- Dialing 112 -
An UNMARKED police car pulled up behind her and put his lights on. Lauren's parents have always told her to never pull over for an unmarked car on the side of the road, but rather to wait until they get to a gas station, etc.
Lauren had actually listened to her parents advice, and promptly called, 112 on her cell phone to tell the police dispatcher that she would not pull over right away. She proceeded to tell the dispatcher that there was an unmarked police car with a flashing red light on his rooftop behind her. The dispatcher checked to see if there were police cars where she was and there weren't, and he told her to keep driving, remain calm and that he had back up already on the way.
Ten minutes later 4 cop cars surrounded her and the unmarked car behind her. One policeman went to her side and the others surrounded the car behind. They pulled the guy from the car and tackled him to the ground. The man was a convicted rapist and wanted for other crimes.
I never knew about the 112 Cell Phone feature. I tried it on my AT&T phone & it said, "Dialing Emergency Number."
Especially for a woman alone in a car, you should not pull over for an unmarked car. Apparently police have to respect your right to keep going on to a safe place.
112 is suppose to be a direct link to State trooper info.
You may want to send this to every Man, Woman & Youngster you know; it may well save a life.
This applies to ALL 50 states
PLEASE PASS ALONG TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY, IT CAN SAVE A LIFE....
~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~
This was posted by "SUPPORT FOR THE ELDERLY"
When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in an Australian country town, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meagre possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.
One nurse took her copy to Melbourne. The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas editions of magazines around the country and appearing in mags for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.
And this old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.
Cranky Old Man
What do you see nurses? . . .. . .What do you see?
What are you thinking .. . when you're looking at me?
A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . .. with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food .. . ... . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . .'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . .the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . .. . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . ... lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . .The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking?. .Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse .you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am . . . . .. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .. . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. . . .. . who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . .. . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . ..my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. .. .that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . .. . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . .. With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons .. .have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me . . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .. ...Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ... . . . . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .. . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man . . . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
It's jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. .. . grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . A young man still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells
I remember the joys . . . . .. . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . . . . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . .. gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. . . . .. . . open and see.
Not a cranky old man .
Look closer . . . . see .. .. . .. .... . ME!!
facebook page --------> Support For The Elderly
Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within. We will all, one day, be there, too.
~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~ ~~~~
PERSPECTIVE ...
I did repost this to my facebook page because I know someone just starting this fight ...
... MY BETHY
~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~~ ~~ ~~~
ADD A FEW GIGGLES ...
AND A FEW SMILES ...
There you have it ... if it wasn't for the laundry and the dishes and vacuuming and the cooking still ahead of me today I would have more to post ... but this day isn't getting any longer and I haven't been able to add not even 1 more hour to it. Off I go ... HI HOOOOO - HI HO - IT'S OFF TO WORK I GO. Who hasn't sung or whistled that song before?
OH I am wasting time, I'm procrastinating, putting off this house work. Come on I made the bed yesterday and made lasagna for dinner even though Cecil offered to take me out to dinner and I did laundry even folded most of it ... heeheeheee ... OK, OK ... I'M GOING.
Well have a good weekend
- Marcene
I found a couple of useful websites and a couple of interesting posts today while poking around on facebook. I'm going to share them with you and post them here, on my blog.
~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~~~
Top 10 Foods For Detoxing Some of these foods I knew about the benefits and some I was very surprised at just how much benefit you get.
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~~ ~
This is not a website but it could save a life ** I have not tried this personally but this is what I read on a facebook posting and I thought it is worth keeping and passing on.
- Dialing 112 -
An UNMARKED police car pulled up behind her and put his lights on. Lauren's parents have always told her to never pull over for an unmarked car on the side of the road, but rather to wait until they get to a gas station, etc.
Lauren had actually listened to her parents advice, and promptly called, 112 on her cell phone to tell the police dispatcher that she would not pull over right away. She proceeded to tell the dispatcher that there was an unmarked police car with a flashing red light on his rooftop behind her. The dispatcher checked to see if there were police cars where she was and there weren't, and he told her to keep driving, remain calm and that he had back up already on the way.
Ten minutes later 4 cop cars surrounded her and the unmarked car behind her. One policeman went to her side and the others surrounded the car behind. They pulled the guy from the car and tackled him to the ground. The man was a convicted rapist and wanted for other crimes.
I never knew about the 112 Cell Phone feature. I tried it on my AT&T phone & it said, "Dialing Emergency Number."
Especially for a woman alone in a car, you should not pull over for an unmarked car. Apparently police have to respect your right to keep going on to a safe place.
112 is suppose to be a direct link to State trooper info.
You may want to send this to every Man, Woman & Youngster you know; it may well save a life.
This applies to ALL 50 states
PLEASE PASS ALONG TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY, IT CAN SAVE A LIFE....
~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~
This was posted by "SUPPORT FOR THE ELDERLY"
When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in an Australian country town, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meagre possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.
One nurse took her copy to Melbourne. The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas editions of magazines around the country and appearing in mags for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.
And this old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.
Cranky Old Man
What do you see nurses? . . .. . .What do you see?
What are you thinking .. . when you're looking at me?
A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . .. with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food .. . ... . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . .'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . .the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . .. . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . ... lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . .The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking?. .Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse .you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am . . . . .. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .. . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. . . .. . who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . .. . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . ..my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. .. .that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . .. . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . .. With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons .. .have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me . . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .. ...Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ... . . . . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .. . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man . . . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
It's jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. .. . grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . A young man still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells
I remember the joys . . . . .. . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . . . . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . .. gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. . . . .. . . open and see.
Not a cranky old man .
Look closer . . . . see .. .. . .. .... . ME!!
facebook page --------> Support For The Elderly
Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within. We will all, one day, be there, too.
~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~ ~~~~
PERSPECTIVE ...
I did repost this to my facebook page because I know someone just starting this fight ...
... MY BETHY
~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~~ ~~ ~~~
ADD A FEW GIGGLES ...
AND A FEW SMILES ...
There you have it ... if it wasn't for the laundry and the dishes and vacuuming and the cooking still ahead of me today I would have more to post ... but this day isn't getting any longer and I haven't been able to add not even 1 more hour to it. Off I go ... HI HOOOOO - HI HO - IT'S OFF TO WORK I GO. Who hasn't sung or whistled that song before?
OH I am wasting time, I'm procrastinating, putting off this house work. Come on I made the bed yesterday and made lasagna for dinner even though Cecil offered to take me out to dinner and I did laundry even folded most of it ... heeheeheee ... OK, OK ... I'M GOING.
Well have a good weekend
- Marcene
Friday, March 1, 2013
Wine helps with everything but money issues
March 1st, 2013
Hello everyone, it's me again. Beth. Marcene's baby. I am blogging for my mommy tonight. I have been having a little anxiety here lately. Well I think a little is kind of an understatement. Earlier today i cried while watching a dog food commercial on T.V. Yeah you can say i'm a little OVER stressed and anxious! As some of you know on monday I have two things happening. Well more then two but only two of them are stressing me out. The first is my cervical scrap to get rid of the nasty cancer on my lady bitz!! The next is an ultrasound to see if the cancer has spread and is currently trying to reside in my ovaries!!! Not very nice if you ask me!!! They're my ovaries i should say who or what may reside there. Guess somethings are just more stubborn and think they "own" whatever they want. Stupid cancer, thinking it owns my body!
ok ok, anyway, i think i am getting off the subject. I'm typing fast so i can get everything off my chest at once and not rethink anything. LOL OK so anyway, those are the two things that are weighing on me so super badly right now. I have been telling myself over and over and over that it's not a big deal. I do still feel that way. The cervical scrap i am not stressing about that much, the pain the next day i am not looking forward to but hey, i deal with pain all day everyday anyway so what's a little downstairs pain thrown in the mix! Where was i.... oh yeah, so i'm not super stressing about the scrap i'm stressing about the ultrasound that will tell me what the next step is.
For a month i was feeling all relaxed thinking that it will all be over with after this scrap thing, BUT NOW i have this other thing that is going to happen that might be telling me i have to deal with this even longer. (big sip of wine and a deep breath) So yeah... i'm just a little over stressed. I wish i could just go back to the feeling of, Hey, this isn't a big deal. that feeling is LONG gone. I think i am starting to realize that there is cancer inside me. Cancer isn't a nice thing. It's doesn't ask please or say thank you it just..... is nasty!!!
ok ok, i don't want to talk about this anymore. So that is why i'm stressed but lets talk about something else!!! Let's talk about .... WINE!!!!! (at a later date we should talk about how much i love it !!!!! exclamation marks and CAPITAL letters)
So here i sit with my wonderful fancy glass of wine, looking nice and chilled in my fancy little wine glass. Just having a glass of wine beside you brings a sense of calm.... ok let me rephrase that, just having a glass of wine that is already halfway gone beside you brings a sense of calm. LoL because we all know wine doesn't do anyone ANY good just sitting and looking pretty.
(need to go tuck kids into bed this could take awhile) (i know, like you will notice i'm gone)
Man that took forever didn't it!!! ok so what were we talking about? oh who can remember, i think it was wine but i don't feel like looking back to make sure.
Tuck in was easy tonight. I only have 2 babies to tuck in tonight, Lilly went with Jim on a delivery. It's nice that he has a job that he can take one of the kids on from time to time, it sure helps me out. Of course it would also be nice if he had a job where he could stay home more to help me out but I don't really complain. I know he is doing what he needs to do for the family. I know from the outside it seems like he is just never here or maybe even doesn't care. But that is not the case at all. I will say, our family dynamic is alot different from most. At this point right now tho, it has to be. My husband is amazing, he really is. When ever i tell him i need him to do something he does it. He just isn't the kind of man who will..... what's the word...... well i can't think of it. He won't do something on his own because he thought you might need it. That's just not how he is. I'm ok with that. Take monday for instance. At first i told him i didn't want anyone going with me to the dr appt.. They said i would be able to drive myself and it wasn't a big deal till the next day, then i would need help. SO i told Jim, they said i would be able to drive myself and it's not a big deal, he said ok. But then, when i broke down and couldn't stop crying for hours, i told him i wanted him to go with me because i was scared, with out hesitation he said no problem. So even tho he isn't home much and he seems like a brick wall with no emotions. He really is the most amazing guy. That's kinda why i married him. LoL Of coarse he is a man, so from time to time he does have his "man-a-posal" moments. LoL other then that he is a good guy.
OK so...... i don't really know what else to talk about now. My wine is making me kinda sleepy so i'm thinking i am going to proof read this bad boy and head to bed. Oh who am i kidding, i don't proof read. I will let my mom do that! Boy is she in for something when she proof-reads this! LoL This is what you get when you combine, stress and wine and blogging!
Have a good night everyone
Love
ElizaBeth Marcum
Hello everyone, it's me again. Beth. Marcene's baby. I am blogging for my mommy tonight. I have been having a little anxiety here lately. Well I think a little is kind of an understatement. Earlier today i cried while watching a dog food commercial on T.V. Yeah you can say i'm a little OVER stressed and anxious! As some of you know on monday I have two things happening. Well more then two but only two of them are stressing me out. The first is my cervical scrap to get rid of the nasty cancer on my lady bitz!! The next is an ultrasound to see if the cancer has spread and is currently trying to reside in my ovaries!!! Not very nice if you ask me!!! They're my ovaries i should say who or what may reside there. Guess somethings are just more stubborn and think they "own" whatever they want. Stupid cancer, thinking it owns my body!
ok ok, anyway, i think i am getting off the subject. I'm typing fast so i can get everything off my chest at once and not rethink anything. LOL OK so anyway, those are the two things that are weighing on me so super badly right now. I have been telling myself over and over and over that it's not a big deal. I do still feel that way. The cervical scrap i am not stressing about that much, the pain the next day i am not looking forward to but hey, i deal with pain all day everyday anyway so what's a little downstairs pain thrown in the mix! Where was i.... oh yeah, so i'm not super stressing about the scrap i'm stressing about the ultrasound that will tell me what the next step is.
For a month i was feeling all relaxed thinking that it will all be over with after this scrap thing, BUT NOW i have this other thing that is going to happen that might be telling me i have to deal with this even longer. (big sip of wine and a deep breath) So yeah... i'm just a little over stressed. I wish i could just go back to the feeling of, Hey, this isn't a big deal. that feeling is LONG gone. I think i am starting to realize that there is cancer inside me. Cancer isn't a nice thing. It's doesn't ask please or say thank you it just..... is nasty!!!
ok ok, i don't want to talk about this anymore. So that is why i'm stressed but lets talk about something else!!! Let's talk about .... WINE!!!!! (at a later date we should talk about how much i love it !!!!! exclamation marks and CAPITAL letters)
So here i sit with my wonderful fancy glass of wine, looking nice and chilled in my fancy little wine glass. Just having a glass of wine beside you brings a sense of calm.... ok let me rephrase that, just having a glass of wine that is already halfway gone beside you brings a sense of calm. LoL because we all know wine doesn't do anyone ANY good just sitting and looking pretty.
(need to go tuck kids into bed this could take awhile) (i know, like you will notice i'm gone)
Man that took forever didn't it!!! ok so what were we talking about? oh who can remember, i think it was wine but i don't feel like looking back to make sure.
Tuck in was easy tonight. I only have 2 babies to tuck in tonight, Lilly went with Jim on a delivery. It's nice that he has a job that he can take one of the kids on from time to time, it sure helps me out. Of course it would also be nice if he had a job where he could stay home more to help me out but I don't really complain. I know he is doing what he needs to do for the family. I know from the outside it seems like he is just never here or maybe even doesn't care. But that is not the case at all. I will say, our family dynamic is alot different from most. At this point right now tho, it has to be. My husband is amazing, he really is. When ever i tell him i need him to do something he does it. He just isn't the kind of man who will..... what's the word...... well i can't think of it. He won't do something on his own because he thought you might need it. That's just not how he is. I'm ok with that. Take monday for instance. At first i told him i didn't want anyone going with me to the dr appt.. They said i would be able to drive myself and it wasn't a big deal till the next day, then i would need help. SO i told Jim, they said i would be able to drive myself and it's not a big deal, he said ok. But then, when i broke down and couldn't stop crying for hours, i told him i wanted him to go with me because i was scared, with out hesitation he said no problem. So even tho he isn't home much and he seems like a brick wall with no emotions. He really is the most amazing guy. That's kinda why i married him. LoL Of coarse he is a man, so from time to time he does have his "man-a-posal" moments. LoL other then that he is a good guy.
OK so...... i don't really know what else to talk about now. My wine is making me kinda sleepy so i'm thinking i am going to proof read this bad boy and head to bed. Oh who am i kidding, i don't proof read. I will let my mom do that! Boy is she in for something when she proof-reads this! LoL This is what you get when you combine, stress and wine and blogging!
Have a good night everyone
Love
ElizaBeth Marcum
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)